Asking for Money
I’ve never been good at asking for stuff. I don’t like feeling like I owe people anything or am beholden to someone else. I’m not sure why. Possibly because I had too many friends abscond with my CDs when I lent them out in high school or never pay me back when I spotted them some cash for a soda. I guess I figured if I can’t trust others to return my copy of Nirvana Unplugged in New York, I don’t want to get into any situation where I owe anything to anyone. It’s twisted logic, for sure, but it’s where I’m at. I’m 31, it’s too late to teach this old dog new tricks. For example, I have friends that I haven’t seen in years who I know I owe a beer, because they bought the last time we got together. I may have a problem.
But I digress.
Yesterday, I had the pleasure of participating in my first public radio pledge drive. For those of you living in a hole for the past year, I work for Oregon Public Broadcasting (note: in no way, shape or form am I speaking in my capacity as a OPB employee on this blog. The opinions expressed here are my own and not those of OPB, NPR or PBS. Thank you and feel free to become an OPB member today.) as a announcer and board operator. I only work a few days a week, but I’ve filled in as a music host on the jazz station we support. I’m just glad to be involved in any capacity with public broadcasting. That’s the honest truth. I’d mop the floors if I had to. (or if they had floors to mop, the whole place is carpeted)
It was a weird experience. By now I’m used to be on the radio again. It had been a solid 7+ years since I had put mouth to microphone, but that comfort level is back. I like to define “comfort level” on the radio as the point where you’re okay with silence. Silence is a killer in an auditory medium, but used correctly it adds weight and flavor. When you’re first on the air, silence is terrifying. So much so that people often speak too fast or say “um” and “ah” unconsciously just to fill the awkward silence. For the most part, I’ve gotten myself past that. Sure, I still get the butterflies in my stomach if there’s a long pause during my shift and of course I still fall back on “ums” and “ahs” every now and then, everyone does.
I was sick with a head-cold when I went in to pitch for the membership drive, so it was a blur. My sinuses were about ready to explode (a fact that I mentioned more than once to those around me, I’m sure. I like to bitch about being sick when I’m sick. Did I mention I was sick?) and my head was swimming in that way that makes it hard to keep things straight. Not ideal for trying to make a reasoned, passionate case for people to contribute to public radio.
There are things I know happened. I know my boss came in and chatted with me for a bit before I went on. I know we had a goal for the hour I was on the air that we either met or got close to meeting. I know I spoke into a microphone and gave out the phone number and website a ton of times. Outside of that, I got nothing. It’s disappointing. I was nervous before I got in, but once I got home and cleared my head out with some dayquil, I wanted to go do it again. Hopefully next time around I can grab a longer shift and play a bigger part.
That probably sounds crazy to some of you out there. It sounds crazy to me, too. Like I said, I don’t like asking anyone for stuff, especially money. But apparently that is outweighed by my love of publicly-funded media. I look at it this way- you get what you pay for. We’re told that all the time, but we almost never think about it in regards to the media we consume.
Commercial media is all about selling stuff to us - McDonalds, automobiles, jeans, whatever -but publicly-funded media doesn’t do that. They have nothing to sell but themselves. They have to prove their value each and every day in order to continue to exist. How do they prove that value? By providing content that the community needs and wants. It’s simple, really. Publicly-funded media are more accountable to the actual people it serves because if they don’t serve the public’s need, the public won’t support them and they have to close up shop. It’s a direct relationship between provider and consumer, instead of the for-profit media relationship of: advertiser -> provider -> consumer. Not to tarnish the reputation of everyone working in for-profit media, but sometimes you have to question which they are more beholden to, the advertisers who give them money or the consumer who only gives them ratings so they can charge more for advertising.
But here I am, pitching on my blog. I don’t know if I should be proud or scared. A little of both is probably in order. (opb.org if you want to join in, by the way. I’m fucking shameless…)
Excitement!
